❤ Sunday, January 26, 2014
I just want to travel the world so badly..
❤ Thursday, January 16, 2014
Sometimes you feel so worthless you just wanna stuff lots of food into your mouth and hope you choke to death. Yes.
Time
❤ Saturday, January 11, 2014
Sometimes I wonder if I'm too much of a romantic or does nobody do romance anymore?
We can say we'll never become the way old couples no longer hold hands, give kisses and cuddles..
But time will always be the silent thief of our lives.
I love kisses. Exceptionally. Just something about them that is so passionate, so sweet. Not pecks on the lips or cheeks. Real passionate kisses.
Is that something we've lost for good? Are the things we used to do destined to just become memories?
I feel so alone in these things. I've tried so many times, but words are nothing if they aren't heard, words are nothing if they aren't remembered.
Many a time I've tried to express how I feel, I guess it's just not enough to bring it back.
Now I just keep my feelings to myself, deal with them myself.
In the past I would seek new relationships simply because I just love how Love feels in the beginning.
Like a firework, a burst of bright, beautiful brilliance.
Nothing feels quite like the beginning of a relationship. The passion, the love, the obsession..
I've always been in love with being in love.
I sought to find a love that would never lose that burst of brilliance, but time and time again I got disappointed. It becomes something else. Still beautiful, but never the same as the shine it once had.
Those memories of the things we used to do, is this all they will always be? Just memories?
I know we can never talk on the phone like we used to anymore.
But I just can never forget how I would always wake up to those kisses, they felt magical.
As days go by it seems like even phones have taken a place of higher importance during times spent together. And even on social media I've lost the attention you used to give me.
Other people get more likes and comments from you than I get. I get none at all actually. I even have to bring things to your attention. And even that doesn't get heard sometimes. Or just get forgotten.
I've tried. So many times. But nothing happens. Now I'll just keep it to myself, to try to let time maybe take even those memories and feelings away. But they don't ever go away.
I treasure them too much. And these tears on my pillow just reminded me that it's been a while since I last cried in bed. This blocked, runny nose reminds me how much I hate crying myself to sleep.
Why does my heart hurt so much thinking about all these? I feel like I'm the only one who cares enough to want them back. Actually, I know I'm the only one who cares enough to want them back.
You don't. I know.
We can say we'll never ever become like the way old couples are. But who knows what else time will steal..
❤ Monday, January 6, 2014
Sometimes I feel like when you become a constant in someone's life, they begin to overlook your requests and needs because they seem to know you're always going to be there no matter how they neglect you..
Resolutions for 2014
❤ Sunday, January 5, 2014
2013 has gone into history! I can't believe that 2013 is already over and it's now 2014.
Truly I feel like this year has flown by so fast, the last thing I remember was June! Not in a literal sense of course otherwise I'd have serious memory problems but you get what I mean.
I've always been one who believes that New Year's resolutions are simply there for nothing. People keep to their resolutions for only a few months or weeks, if at all!
I for one have never managed to even remember mine right after I make them.
But for some reason I truly believe 2014 is going to be the best year yet and that a lot of things will change for the better. For that reason I believe I owe it to myself to not screw up, as best as I can!
I always find that goals are easier to achieve when you set small little goals that are actually achievable and not seemingly impossible. Aim far, but to get far you gotta take steps to get there right?
Stop Worrying and Just Pray
I'm such a worrier. If you knew me at all you'd know that I worry about everything, even the smallest things. I'm always anxious about things and really I hate to admit it but worrying doesn't help solve any of my problems at all. It's not like worrying about something all night is going to fix the situation. I just have to remember that I cannot control everything.
My most favourite Bible verse of all time came to me at a time of need. And I really feel that it speaks to me perfectly.
"Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all He has done." - Philippians 4:6 (NLT)
And the next verse says "Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus."
Truly, I have to say that no other verse has ever struck me as hard as Philippians 4:6. I need to learn to worry less, pray more; whenever things happen, the first thing I should do isn't to panic, but to pray.
Ignore Others' Opinions and Just Be Happy
This is kind of similar to the one above, to not worry. I've always been someone who's really self-conscious, and it's really difficult for me to not care about what other people think about me. I truly admire those who do whatever they want without a care in the world. People are so judgy these days, and I really need to remember that there isn't any amount of worrying that could change that. I don't want to be a slave to opinions of others. For some reason, all my life so far I was constantly picked on, be it in person or on the Internet. Is because people could tell that I would take their nasty comments to heart? I have to remember, "A lion does not lose sleep over opinions of sheep." Although, I really do love animals and sheep are one of my favourites :)
On a side note though, I don't understand why people can be so mean. Especially now that social media has taken over our lives. Everywhere on the Internet, YouTube, Instagram, Twitter, Facebook.. People can leave the most nasty of comments on a video or photo of someone they don't even know. Some even make fake accounts to leave nasty comments on a photo of someone they actually know because they don't want that person to find out it's actually them. I don't understand this! What has this world come too? What's more appalling is such acts predominantly come from females. No wonder girls are always said to be bitchy. In a world like this, women should empower each other, not put each other down. A word of kindness does good not only for the one it's being directed at, but it does good to ourselves too. I've found that genuinely complimenting others makes me feel happy, really! I could dedicate a whole post to talk about this so moving on..
Think Before I Speak and Consider Other People's Feelings More
These all seem to be linked to one and another, don't they? Since I was talking about people being mean, I think it's also important that I reflect on myself and do my part too. I must remember to think before I speak, simply because a lot of the times I say things too quickly and realise how embarrassing it sounds in hindsight. Other than embarrassing myself, sometimes I wasn't aware that what I said came off hurtful. To save myself anymore embarrassment that would make me wanna slap myself and anymore guilt from hurting people, I must learn to use words carefully.
Your mouth can speak beautiful words that give people warmth, but it can also say horrible things that set a big fire. This year I am determined to be mindful of what I say.
Sleep Early!!!
I need to be more disciplined regarding my sleep patterns. Don't really think I need to explain why!
Snack Less!
I used to be someone who would snack constantly at night. Always munching on junk food. So far this year I've been pretty good in that I haven't been snacking at night or I'll just have a few biscuits or chocolate if I'm really hungry. Of course it's still snacking but not as bad. Believe me you'd be horrified if you saw how I was constantly snacking on hot Cheetos for months. So bad for my body.
Exercise!
Honestly I'm not sure if I could do real exercise like jog or yoga but I started doing squats and lunges some time in December and I quite enjoy, surprisingly. Although, I admit that when Christmas and New Year came around I got too lazy and into the holiday mood that I've been slacking but I shall get back into it now! No more excuses! I shall keep telling myself, train insane or remain the same! I don't wanna remain the same :( Or become fat. God forbid!!!
Spend More Time with Loved Ones
I really treasure what I have in my life and I feel really blessed for all that I have. Family, B, Patchie, friends.. I want to spend more time with them all and really enjoy my blessings.
Of course, I definitely want to be a better person in general; be who God wants me to be. I feel like I really need to work on that and there are a lot of things I struggle with but I believe I can do it.
I just know 2014 will be a year with great changes in my life and will definitely be a year that I will look back upon for all the fantastic stuff that will happen. 2014 will only bring good things and bad things will not happen. I'm looking forward to everything God will bring this year!
On a side note though, I don't understand why people can be so mean. Especially now that social media has taken over our lives. Everywhere on the Internet, YouTube, Instagram, Twitter, Facebook.. People can leave the most nasty of comments on a video or photo of someone they don't even know. Some even make fake accounts to leave nasty comments on a photo of someone they actually know because they don't want that person to find out it's actually them. I don't understand this! What has this world come too? What's more appalling is such acts predominantly come from females. No wonder girls are always said to be bitchy. In a world like this, women should empower each other, not put each other down. A word of kindness does good not only for the one it's being directed at, but it does good to ourselves too. I've found that genuinely complimenting others makes me feel happy, really! I could dedicate a whole post to talk about this so moving on..
Think Before I Speak and Consider Other People's Feelings More
These all seem to be linked to one and another, don't they? Since I was talking about people being mean, I think it's also important that I reflect on myself and do my part too. I must remember to think before I speak, simply because a lot of the times I say things too quickly and realise how embarrassing it sounds in hindsight. Other than embarrassing myself, sometimes I wasn't aware that what I said came off hurtful. To save myself anymore embarrassment that would make me wanna slap myself and anymore guilt from hurting people, I must learn to use words carefully.
Your mouth can speak beautiful words that give people warmth, but it can also say horrible things that set a big fire. This year I am determined to be mindful of what I say.
Sleep Early!!!
I need to be more disciplined regarding my sleep patterns. Don't really think I need to explain why!
Snack Less!
I used to be someone who would snack constantly at night. Always munching on junk food. So far this year I've been pretty good in that I haven't been snacking at night or I'll just have a few biscuits or chocolate if I'm really hungry. Of course it's still snacking but not as bad. Believe me you'd be horrified if you saw how I was constantly snacking on hot Cheetos for months. So bad for my body.
Exercise!
Honestly I'm not sure if I could do real exercise like jog or yoga but I started doing squats and lunges some time in December and I quite enjoy, surprisingly. Although, I admit that when Christmas and New Year came around I got too lazy and into the holiday mood that I've been slacking but I shall get back into it now! No more excuses! I shall keep telling myself, train insane or remain the same! I don't wanna remain the same :( Or become fat. God forbid!!!
Spend More Time with Loved Ones
I really treasure what I have in my life and I feel really blessed for all that I have. Family, B, Patchie, friends.. I want to spend more time with them all and really enjoy my blessings.
Of course, I definitely want to be a better person in general; be who God wants me to be. I feel like I really need to work on that and there are a lot of things I struggle with but I believe I can do it.
I just know 2014 will be a year with great changes in my life and will definitely be a year that I will look back upon for all the fantastic stuff that will happen. 2014 will only bring good things and bad things will not happen. I'm looking forward to everything God will bring this year!