I've mentioned my hot Cheetos addiction before. It is now November and.. I'm still terribly addicted. I did decide to stop buying it for October so I managed to not have it for a while.
As it so happens I have fallen into my Cheetos frenzy once again.
I'm not proud of myself. After all I've honestly never had proper discipline when I comes to food. But junk food could possibly be my downfall, which means I must be cautious about it.

Hence, I have decided that I shall quit buying Cheetos once I finish the ones I currently have. I'm on my second-to-last one so I guess they shall be gone by the end of the week.
I've realized that in October, although I was almost going barmy with craving for Cheetos, I managed to survive after all. And rather than going barmy eating Cheetos and getting fat, I'd rather go barmy with cravings and NOT getting fat.
I'm completely fine if I don't have them in my possession.

Also, I'm determined to go swimming twice a week from now on. I had planned to go on Tuesday but it looked like it was going to rain. Alas, the sky pulled one on me and decided not to rain in the end after all.
So I went yesterday on Wednesday and I must say I'm very proud of myself. I don't usually go out of my way to do something for myself, especially if that something requires a whole lot of energy.
I did it though and I feel great. It was a bit of a trouble, the whole shebang of walking to the busstop, taking a bus to the pool in the evening, putting conditioner on to protect my hair from the pool water, swim my little limbs off while keeping an eye on my belongings, having to take a freezing cold shower in their shower rooms, taking the grimy bus home and taking another quick warm shower to make sure I've gotten all of the chlorine off me and conditioning my hair once again. Typing this all out is exhausting as it sounds. At least the bus ride is pretty short; I could actually walk to the pool if I bothered but why walk and sweat when I can ride there right?

Despite all that, I don't mind it at all. All over Instagram you see popular fitness accounts of people who go to the gym and work out everyday and they look great. In true, classic chronic-overachiever style I start thinking, "Hey if they can bring their once-fat arses to the gym everyday and sweat it all and lose all that weight and turn in fit goddesses, so can I take the bus to the pool twice a week and swim my fats away!" Rather than sitting here wishing I could look better, I should get up and work on it!

Mind you, I am pretty skinny and underweight. I'm not obsessed with wanting to look stick-thin because I honestly don't find that attractive at all. Besides, I have hips and boobs so I couldn't be stick-thin even if I starved myself I think. I just think I can afford to tone up whatever I have so I don't feel so awful as I do right now. I've never been one to feel confident with my body. You know what they say, 'Fake it till you make it.' But it's only so long you can convince yourself that your metabolism can keep up with the amount of Cheetos you're putting in your system everyday. I'm past puberty stage so my metabolism isn't as super as it used to be, although admittedly it is still relatively faster than the average person's. Staying up at night might also be a factor contributing to my metabolism.
I'm trying to sleep earlier but baby steps okay? Okay. What an irony it is as I'm typing this when I'm supposed to be sleeping.

I shall do my best to be kinder to my body and we'll see where this brings me. I really must hit the sack now.